Why Jesus?

Something in me said that the man seated to my left would have some good questions for me. Perhaps it was his horn-rimmed glasses, or that he seemed to be taking things in with a good-natured skepticism. As dinner was being served at our Wednesday Community Fellowship at Grace, he looked at me and smiled and said, “You’re a Christian aren’t you?” Hearing my affirmative, he said, “Why Jesus?” I didn’t understand. So he asked me again. I apologized for seeming obtuse, and so he clarified, “Why Jesus and not God?” He went on to say that Jesus and God were different, and that Jesus could not have been God because God is eternal and Jesus died, thus not God. Usually when you have a conversation with someone with these types of questions, they come across as accusations, and you get the feeling that they just want to pick a fight. But with this guy, while his questions were pointed, they were said with a genuine smile, and I got the sense that while his mind was made up, he hoped that someday someone could change it.

I’ve been in a lot of conversations with non-Christians, and this was this first one of its kind. This man seemed very passionate about God as God, and had an affinity for the God of the Old Testament. In fact, he had grown up in church and knew the Bible very well. The only time our conversation soured for a moment was when I told him this joke (it fit the context of our conversation): A man climbs to the top of Mount Sinai to talk to God. Looking up, he asks the Lord. "God, what does a million years mean to you?" The Lord replies, "A minute." The man asks, "And what does a million dollars mean to you?" The Lord replies, "A penny.” The man asks, "Can I have a penny?" The Lord replies, "In a minute."

He told me that I had just taken God’s name in vain, using it in a joke, to which I replied that I was sorry he felt that way but that I think God is joyful and enjoys laughter if it’s not at His expense. He seemed to accept that and our conversation continued.

The question of “Why Jesus?”, while not usually asked from the same point of view as this man, is one that we as Christians need to be ready to answer. “Because” is not enough. “Um…” will not cut it. As Peter says, always be ready to give a reason for the hope that you have. Not simply an intellectual defense of the veracity of Scripture (though that is good to have ,too) but a reason for the hope. “Why Jesus?” Because I know Him. Because He has changed me and He is evident in my life and in the lives of my friends who know Him. Because I have found that He alone is life for the soul. Because He lives. I hope that Al comes back so that we can continue to talk – I enjoyed his company.

Seeing the world in dark and light

Eliza has taken to asking people a very crucial question: “Are you for the Tar Heels or Duke?” Sometimes she assumes that their answer will be yes, like when she told our friend Suzanne, “You must be for the Tar Heels because you’re my daddy’s friend.” Other she expresses her surprise that anyone close to her and her family could pull for Duke, like my mom and stepdad. “Susu and PopPop pull for Duke – can you believe it!?” The choice for her is clear. She asked one of our tutors last week, “Do you like Duke?” When Lindsey said, “Yes, is that a bad thing?” Eliza replied seriously, “Yes it is.”

While some would say child protective services need to be called, it does make me think about how sweet and simple life is right now for my kids. Trust comes naturally, following their parents’ lead is second nature. Whether it’s believing that everyone should like the Tar Heels or that Jesus really did die on the cross for our sins, faith is uncomplicated. I know the day is coming when the world will not be so “dark and light (blue)”. There will be day when Eliza realizes that all Duke players are not evil (I mean, hey, there’s a whole bunch of them like Grant Hill, Johnny Dawkins, and….um…OK, so there’s more than one at least). She will realize that despite his affinity for cheese (being the Rat King), Coach K is actually a brilliant coach (did I just write that – my spell check went bezerk). And there will come a day when she has friends that she dearly loves who also loves the Blue Devils.

It’s silly, but it’s also not a leap to begin to realize that one day questions will come about not only her father’s basketball loyalties but her father’s faith, too. She will soon have friends that she loves dearly who don’t believe in Jesus. She will soon have questions of “why” and “how” that aren’t easily answered in the pages of her Jesus Storybook Bible. She will realize that God doesn’t always cause life to go the way you think it should go, and she will stray from the boundaries of right and test what is wrong.

The world won’t be so dark and light anymore, and as a parent, it will be hard to let her navigate those waters, trusting the Lord to guide her safely home (even if she goes to Duke).

Some photos

Just a few pictures to give you a glimpse into the Benbow's world in recent months.

Costume partay!

Nothin' could be finer.


Psalter just can't put a good book down.


Psycho T Hansbrough, look out for Psycho J, down the lane for the DUNK!




Sister love!


Jacob loved his first birthday cupcake!

Sowing to reap

Galatians 6:7Do not be deceived: God cannot be mocked. A man reaps what he sows. 8The one who sows to please his sinful nature, from that nature will reap destruction; the one who sows to please the Spirit, from the Spirit will reap eternal life.

Our pastor preached on this section of Scripture this week, and it really got me thinking about the principle of reaping and sowing. Usually this concept is talked about when someone messes up - "Well, you know, you reap what you sow." But it struck me that this principle can also be applied in a positive sense, that we can sow with a purpose to have godly fruit born in our lives and into the lives of those that we love. I can think intentionally about how I sow into the lives of my family, how I sow into my ministry, how I sow into friends. For example, I want to see Diane grow in confidence and security in who she is, and one thing I can do is to sow words into her life that remind her of how gifted and loved that she is.

As I prayed about this intentional sowing, the Lord reminded me of my tendency towards legalism and trying to make things happen on my own. The way to sow good things is to abide. Jesus said in John 15 that we must abide in Him in order to bear fruit, and in Galatians 5, we learn that the fruit that we bear is Spirit fruit. As I abide in Christ, I bear love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, gentleness, and self-control, sowing those things into the lives of those I love and interact with. And so yes, I want to be intentional and strategic in my sowing, but only as I abide in Christ, asking Him to provide the seed.

Welcome to the Blogosphere

My friend Shawn Morrison is throwing his hat into the ring, starting his own blog. Some of you are "Motown" fans from way back, others don't know Shawn. But stop by and check out his musings and welcome him to the blogging world.
http://motownsoundsoff.blogspot.com/

Hide and seek

Remember John and Princess from my last post? Today I heard another story about them. One of my co-directors noticed that Princess has been hiding from John on Mondays, and ordinarily my reaction to kids running off and hiding would be to scold them. But Regina pointed out that Princess is hiding because she wants John to come and find her. She is testing whether he remembers her, whether he is for real, and each time she hides, he goes and finds her and they get to work.

Isn't that the way we are with God sometimes? We don't really believe His love is as deep and pursuing as He says it is (remember how Princess said to John, "I bet you didn't think about me over the break"?). So we hide, wondering if He will come find us, wondering if He remembers. And He always does. Sometimes His remembering comes in the form of conviction. Other times it comes with gentle grace. But He always remembers. How can He forget? We are engraved on the palms of His hands.

The power of consistency

"I bet you didn't think about me during break," said Princess to her tutor this week. Several times. Her tutor, John, is one of our adult volunteers at our church. He said himself that he would be an unlikely candidate to be a tutor, especially to be paired with one of our hardest fifth grade girls. But John decided to open himself to God's leading, step into an uncomfortable place, and see how he might be used. He is a quiet, unassuming man, and runs an extremely successful business here. Princess is loud, angry, and has had a fairly unstable life. Put them together and you have... two changed hearts.

Each time that Princess told John that he didn't think of her, he assured her that yes, he had thought of her often during break, and she proceeded to work hard, focused on her work. This is not the norm for her, and I think the fact that John came back this semester, willing to work with her and love her, spoke volumes to her heart. Here is a man, a good man, who came back again and who didn't forget her. A picture to Princess, and to me and John, of the loving God who finds us just as we are, loves us, and doesn't forget about us.

Like water on parched ground

So we're back in the swing of things at tutoring, this week being our first for the spring semester. I have been absolutely amazed at how smoothly things have run, and how the kids seem to be transforming right before our eyes. I go upstairs to our 3-5 grade classrooms and can't believe the calm up there. Some of this change is due to the amazing organizational work of Regina Clark and Melissa Lewkowicz, two friends who have been diligently making our program better and better. Some of this change is due to empowering and equipping "Room Mom's" for each classroom who answer questions and keep kids on task, and serve as a resource for the tutors. Some of this is due to the growing number of adults from our church who are serving as volunteers (see photo at right) and the fact that every child is now one-on-one with a tutor.

And I think undergirding all of this is that we have finally vocalized the vision for the program, which states that relationships are just as important to us as academics. This has freed our tutors to do what they really want to do, which is love the kids. Rather than worrying about whether they are getting all their work done or if they are getting the right answer, our tutors are focused on building trust and encouraging the children, which is then moving the kids towards academic success.

During our orientation meeting last weekend, I asked the tutors to do three things during the academic portion of our time: encourage constantly, discipline with purpose, and empower the children to learn more. I think that the encourage constantly piece is undergirding each of the other two, and as Regina said, the words of kindness that our kids are hearing is like water falling on parched ground. That these children would sit and quietly listen while my friend Bob read them a story is unheard of for us, and I think it is because they believe that they are loved and the words of kindness are soaking in.

Broad Themes from Luke

This morning I read the gospel of Luke in one sitting, which is unusual for me (I usually read small chunks of Scripture at a time). I usually just read a few verses of a book, think about them a lot, analyze them, and then come back the next day for a few more. But I had plenty of time this morning on a day away for prayer and planning, so I just kept reading and was looking for overarching themes rather than specific things to apply. Here are some things that really jumped out to me (this is the first of 3):

Theme # 1 – Authority: Jesus speaks a great deal about authority. When He sends out His disciples, He gives them authority to heal and cast out demons. When He sends out the 72, He again gives them authority, yet when they come back celebrating that this authority actually worked, He urged them to celebrate not their authority but their salvation. When Jesus teaches, people are amazed at what He says, and one of the comments that they often make is that He teaches as one who has authority. In short, His words carry authority, and I was struck by how little I live in that reality. I think I speak the words of Jesus hopefully, timidly, knowing that they have power for me but maybe not for you. Yet Jesus is THE authority in the world, the author of life and faith. When He speaks, it happens. When I speak the words of Jesus, they are words of authority, not for me to manipulate or use to get what I want, but they do have power to transform.

The story of the centurion who tells Jesus not to come to his house, but rather just to speak the word and his servant would be healed was another story of authority. The centurion recognized how authority works – the one in power speaks and those under him obey. He also recognized that Jesus had authority which all things must obey.

The 12 had great faith in the authority given to them by Jesus. Once, when they had been rejected by a Samaritan village, they asked Jesus if He wanted them to call down fire from heaven on the people. They had seen that when Jesus gave them authority to heal and cast out demons, it had actually worked, and so they saw no reason that they could also have authority over nature, too. Of course Jesus rebuked them (their desire for discipline was shadowed by an anti-Samaritan sentiment, I think), but to it was striking that they believed enough to even ask.

I noticed also that Jesus was willing to be under authority – God had put all things under Him, and Jesus did not have to submit to any man at any time. A crowd had once driven Jesus to the edge of a cliff in order to throw Him off, but He simply walked right through them and went on His way. But when the time came for Him to die, Jesus submitted to the authority of the Father, saying, “Not my will but yours.”

I wonder what it would look like for me to walk more in the authority of God. To believe that the words that I speak have power when I am being led by the Spirit. How would I minister and live differently if I believed that not only had I been given authority, but that Jesus still had authority in our world? Intellectually I believe and know that, but I don’t always live that way practically.

The Work of Remembering

Earlier this week Diane and I met with Jenny and Dayna, two GUPY’s who decided to stay in Greensboro after their summer time here was through (Dayna has been here four years, Jenny since this past August). The idea behind the time was for Diane and I to encourage these young women in continuing to seek God’s heart for Glenwood and to see how they were doing living in our neighborhood. As we shared how we were doing, each of us seemed to be feeling a sense of hopelessness, and we felt like we were either just going through the motions or feeling angry. Our desire was to live transformational lives here, but when hope gets eroded, that is hard to do. The inability of the police to shut down two prominent drug and prostitution houses on our corner, the continuing cycle of brokenness in the lives of several of the women that Diane and I have gotten to know over the years, feelings of being uncomfortable and not entirely safe – all of these left us in an icky place. And because I knew that I had not responded to my struggles with prayer, I asked the others if they had, and the answer was a unanimous “No.”

The Lord brought to mind a Psalm that I had looked at briefly with my IV colleagues at our December staff conference, and so I had us look at Psalm 13, a very short Psalm but very appropriate.

PS 13:1 How long, O LORD? Will you forget me forever?

How long will you hide your face from me?

PS 13:2 How long must I wrestle with my thoughts

and every day have sorrow in my heart?

How long will my enemy triumph over me?

PS 13:3 Look on me and answer, O LORD my God.

Give light to my eyes, or I will sleep in death;

PS 13:4 my enemy will say, "I have overcome him,"

and my foes will rejoice when I fall.

PS 13:5 But I trust in your unfailing love;

my heart rejoices in your salvation.

PS 13:6 I will sing to the LORD,

for he has been good to me.

As we looked these words, we talked about how there were three movements in this Psalm. Verses 1-2 are just straight up despair, wondering if the Lord was even present, wondering how long things would be the way that they were, and on this particular night, that was where most of us were. Verses 3-4 are a prayer, asking God to do something about the things that are going on, and we realized that we were mostly stuck in verses 1-2 and not moving into the prayer of verses 3-4.

But how do you get moving again and get unstuck? God graciously provides a hint in verses 5-6. The work of remembering unsticks us and moves us to a place where we can pray and ask God to do something about the things that seem overwhelming. We remember that God has been good to us. We remember that His love is unfailing. We remember the salvation that He has given us. And so we trust and ask Him to look on us and to answer. God hasn’t forgotten us – His love is unfailing. And furthermore, His love for the broken around us is unfailing. We can look on them with Christ-healed eyes, believing that God has won salvation for them, that they, too, can rejoice in God’s goodness to them, if they would just believe that the needs that they fill with anything but Jesus can be met by Him alone (and that He longs to do that for them). God’s love is and has been unfailing, He has been good to me, and so I will sing and rejoice and believe that transformation will come as we seek Him in prayer, asking Him to work a miracle on Silver Avenue.

First Visit to the Dean Dome

This Saturday, Diane and I took Eliza to her first UNC basketball game at the Dean Dome (versus NC State), thanks to tickets from Aunt Julie, who is an EMT with the South Orange Rescue Squad. My day started with a special breakfast at McDonalds with Psalter, since she wasn't coming on the trip with us.

Then it was on to Chapel Hill. For me, it was a chance to further the indoctrination of Carolina in my oldest child, and so we parked on Rosemary Street to walk the mile or so down through campus to the game, rather than parking closer. I am still enamored with Carolina and provided a running commentary to Eliza of the different buildings and memories there, as she skipped and basically humored me by saying, "Uh-huh." We went to the Student Stores, and she got to pick out a "Carolina pink" t-shirt (which she promptly put on) and then we continued through campus, past the football stadium and down towards the Dean Dome, where we met my sister Carly, who is a freshman at UNC. We dropped Jacob with her to spend a couple hours in Craig Dorm, and then hustled down the hill to the game.

It was close to tip-off, which I hate to miss, so the end of our trip involved me running up the Dean Dome steps with Eliza on my back. We entered the arena just as the Heels were being introduced, and needless to say it was loud and a bit overwhelming to Eliza, but she hung in there, and by the five-minute mark of the first half was coloring away in her seat!


By halftime she was ready to go home, but luckily her friend River was at the game, too, and had an extra seat in her row, so Eliza spent the second half with River and her parents.

The game was a rout, which in some ways is not quite as fun, and then was the long walk uphill back to the car. Needless to say, all of us were absolutely zonked - Diane fell asleep at 8:30, I was out by 10 and Eliza slept until 8:00 this morning.
Going to a game carting a 1-yr-old and a 4-yr-old is not as easy as going alone, but it was worth it to have this first experience at a Carolina game with Eliza. Here's to many more!

Confidence

Each morning at my church, our staff team has “house time” where someone shares a short devotional thought that we discuss and then we close in prayer. Last week our Lead Pastor shared this article, which talked about how certainty in faith can be hard to come by, but rather than certainty, confidence in Christ may actually be what we should seek.

I resonated with this, and I went back to my office struck by the contrast between certainty and confidence and began to think about why that contrast seemed so sharp. To help me, I did a word search in the New Testament on confidence and certainty, just to see how and when they were used. As I read, it seemed to me that confidence is a more relational way of trusting and knowing, whereas certainty felt more antiseptic and head-oriented. A scientist can be certain that a formula yields a particular result, but they can only be confident that a friend truly loves them. Confidence gives room for wiggle and seems to give room for warmth. Interestingly, it gives room for failure, too, because it’s not 100% certain. If I tell one of my tutoring kids that I am confident that they can do it, it means that I believe in them, that I know their abilities, and I trust them. To be certain requires little trust or relationship, it’s just a fact. In matters of faith, certainty seems to put the burden on me – if I have really checked my facts, brought my head into complete alignment and intellectual satisfaction, only then can I be certain. But confidence puts the weight on the Lord and my relationship with Him. I am not certain about a lot of things with God and never will be, but I am confident in Him and in my relationship with Him.

The New Testament writers preferred confidence to certainty when expressing our relationship to God and our ability to depend on Him. We are encouraged to approach the throne of God with freedom and confidence; we are confident that He who began a good work will bring it to completion; we can approach God with confidence; we can enter His presence with confidence; we can say with confidence that He is my helper; we have confidence that we will receive from Him. All of these were from Scripture. The only “certain” verse in the epistles was in Hebrews 11 which describes faith as being sure of what we hope for and certain of what we do not see.

When I hear the word certainty, I think of my head. When I think of confidence, I imagine my heart and soul. I try and wrap my mind around certainty, but confidence is a core, relationally-anchored knowing. God is too big, to amazing, to mysterious for me to box Him into certainty in all areas of life. But God is my Father, my Savior, and my friend, which allows me deep confidence to trust Him in the mess and joys of everyday life.

Refreshed by blogs

I was dreading opening my google reader because I had not checked it in over a week, and when you subscribe to as many blogs as I do, new posts pile up. I figured it would be over 100, and sure enough it was 128. But because I had time, I began to read through the new posts, and I was so refreshed when I was done. Posts about babies' first Christmas, posts about loving the poor, posts about celebrating Christ, posts about family, posts about New Years, posts about sports and politics. I was able to catch up with friends, get new insight into my wife's thinking and heart, and see pictures of lots of people who are important to me. Not a bad way to spend an hour on a Saturday.

A Thrill of Hope

Think about it – when Jesus was born, the Jews had not heard from God in about 400 years and they were occupied by the Roman Empire. Songs like “Joy to the World” and “O Holy Night” are exuberant and worshipful because they reflect that sense that Christ has come to bring hope into hopeless places. I think we are losing some of our Christmas hymns, because Christmas here is packaged as a happy time from start to finish. Part of that is because we already know that the Lord has come. But part of it is because happy people buy more stuff, and it’s not fun or good business to look at the bleak parts of life and the world around us (and it doesn’t make for happy blog posts all the time, either).

For me, songs of hope are so, well, hopeful, this season because life around us in Glenwood isn’t always cheery. The Friday before Christmas was a really hard day, and would have been even if we had not put Joe to sleep. First, we had a visit in the morning from one of our friends in the neighborhood who has been struggling for years to get her life on track, to get off of crack and off the streets. She had spent over 6 months in a stable environment, but she has recently lost her father, which send her and her family into a bad place and she has wound up back walking our streets. I believe that Jesus lives in her, and she is closer to freedom than she was a couple of years ago. When she saw me, she said, “I just need a hug and for you to pray for me,” and so we prayed arm in arm on the street, and then she spent an hour or so pouring out hear heart to Diane. She never asked us for anything, and eventually, she left, back into the cold, trying to figure things out.

From there I delivered presents from our church to a family who lives in one of the harshest projects in Greensboro. Though I had agreed to be there at 1:00 and had called their cell phone several times as I drove over, the mother and her sister were not home when I arrived, and I suspect that it was because it’s not easy to receive help for Christmas. Instead a young guy let me in, yelling upstairs that the “adoption guy” was there. There was no furniture in the living room, no lights on, and lots of yelling upstairs.

When I got home, Diane told me that another family had called our friend Melissa, desperate for help. The mom had saved money for Christmas, but their car had to be repaired and the Christmas money had to go to that. Thankfully our church had grocery store and gas station gift cards to help out, and we were also able to find a Wal-mart card for them as well. And in the midst of this, I was also forced to look at selfishness in my own heart as I was reluctant to pass on some of the money that God had freely and graciously given our family, above and beyond what we needed, my unthankfulness showing up dark against the generous Christ who lives within me.

This Friday before Christmas is an example of why it is both a blessing and a heartache to live in Glenwood. The heartache is clear (and there are more stories that I could tell), but the blessing is that the hope of Christ is joy and it is a thrill of hope. Without Jesus coming, we are all lost. If my friends and I don’t prepare Him room in our hearts, we will be forever desperate and wanting.

But the Lord has come, He has come to beat back sin, to bring life and light to all, risen with healing in His wings. God is with us, Emanuel. That is joy to the world.

Beautiful Joe

Today we had to put our boxer, Joe, to sleep, as his hind legs were giving out, crippled by arthritis. He had stopped eating and would not come to me when I called, and I think he was just ready to go. I really appreciate the kindness of the vet and the vet tech who put him to sleep - the process could not have been smoother or sweeter, and I had the chance to say goodbye and have a good cry as Joe went to sleep.

Thinking back on our six years with Joe has been very sweet. We bought him two days after moving to Glenwood (two days after 9-11), and we were actually looking at another boxer at the rescue when Joe came bounding down the steps. He always was a funny looking dog, and he won us over immediately. For a young couple who were scared to death of their neighborhood, having a big, mean-looking dog was such a comfort. People would move to the other side of the street when they saw Joe coming, though they had nothing to fear from him. Joe was a source of courage for me, helping me feel OK about walking through Glenwood, and owning him also forced me to get out in the neighborhood before we had a fence. I would also give Joe a lot of credit for getting our tutoring program off the ground. As we took our early morning walks, he became a favorite of the kids who were waiting for the bus, and while they didn't know my name, they would be screaming "Joe! Joe!" when we were still way down the block. He was my best way of getting to know them, and I can still see Kendall, one of our first tutoring participants, hugging Joe on the corner in front of his house.

Joe was a great dog for our work here because he was very gentle and patient with kids, yet he was all the alarm system we ever needed. Eliza has been a little sad today as she has realized Joe is not coming back, and she cried pretty hard a couple of times, which surprised me because I wasn't sure how much she could understand. We will certainly miss Joe and are thankful that God provided such a good companion for us here.

Gospel Diagram

Here is a video of me drawing the diagram based on the gospel explanation I recently posted. Please give any thoughts or critiques or questions. I know that there is no perfect representation of the amazing work of Christ, but I want to know if this would be helpful/useful in moving people towards Him. (The video is 5:12 long) Thanks to Diane for her camera work, standing on the couch looking over my shoulder!

A New Way to Present a Timeless Truth

I’ve been training students in evangelism for several years now, and one of the things that we teach them is a simple illustration that helps explain the basics of the Gospel to a non-Christian. The bridge diagram is a classic evangelism tool, and very useful because it visually shows the need of all people to have the gap between us and God “bridged” by the work of Jesus Christ on the cross. But last month I was having lunch with some pastors in Charlotte, and we began to talk about what people really need to believe or understand in terms of salvation. And what it boiled down to is that Christians usually explain the Gospel in terms of people’s need for forgiveness of sin. The main problem that we present is that sin has separated us from God, and that Jesus died on the cross to fix that sin problem. We also present the Gospel as a one-time transaction, a decision that we make to accept God’s forgiveness and “cross the bridge.”

However, I do not believe that sin is the main problem that God came to address in Jesus Christ. Rather, the main problem with all people is that because of the Fall (Genesis 1-3), we are born dead in our spirits, and we need life. Therefore, we sin because we are grabbing life from any place we can get it, except for depending on God. I do not believe that people become sinners because they sin. I believe that people who are not in Christ sin because they are sinners – they are spirit-dead and lifeless in their core. (Incidentally, Christians sin for much the same reason - we are grabbing life from sources other than God. The main difference is that Christians have free and instant access to God's Life at all times, giving us the choice to depend on Him as our hope and life rather than try and produce it on our own.) Jesus said, "I have come that you may have life, and life abundant," and He told Nicodemus in John chapter 3 that the way to see the kingdom of God is to be born again, i.e. to be born with new life in our spirit.

If this is a more faithful statement of the main problem, the bridge diagram is not the most faithful illustration of God’s solution or even His end-goal for all people, because it’s main focus is on the sin of the unbeliever and posits the purpose of the cross as simply forgiving our sins and that God's goal is for us to accept His forgiveness. We have a Life problem, and Jesus’ death on the cross cleared the barrier of sin so that God might give us what we really need- His life.

And I while I do believe that there is one specific moment of salvation (rebirth) at which the Believer becomes a permanent member of God’s family, believing and experiencing the Gospel is an ongoing process in our lives. Believing the Gospel is not simply a one-time assent to the truth of the work of Christ, but it is a daily, moment-by-moment belief in our need for the Life of God to fill us, lead us, and move through us as we depend on Him for our acceptance, worth, and purpose – really, depend on Him for all things. Again, the bridge diagram would lead us to believe that belief in the Gospel is something we do one time.

While the bridge diagram is simply that, a diagram, it points to some fundamental flaws in traditional methods and beliefs about evangelism, and I think that those hampered Christians’ ability to articulate the Gospel to others. These flaws have also severely limited the depth and scope of our own understanding of our need for Christ and the ongoing work of His Spirit in our lives. Thus we try to give away in evangelism what we ourselves are not receiving. So, I have endeavored to come up with a simple illustration that Christians might use to show the Gospel to someone who does not know Christ, being faithful to the main problem of spiritual death and how the cross and resurrection of Christ give us what we really need, forgiveness which paves the way to life. In the next day or so, I hope to draw this out and post a video here of what that might look like.

Breaking the Urban Trance

In October, Diane and I had the chance to attend a consultation of urban IV staff from around the country. One of the things that we talked about there was how often times people in the Church go into an urban trance where we look right through, look right past, the problems in our streets and in our cities. It just seems too overwhelming to pay attention and to care, and so we keep the poor and marginalized faceless and nameless. As we talked, I realized that I had been doing that in Glenwood. My heart had grown numb, and I basically went from my car to the house to my car to work and on and on. I lived in the midst of some hard things and broken people, but I didn’t see them anymore. I had become accustomed to prostitutes walking my streets, to kids with messed up families, to the same middle-aged men with no jobs who walk around day after day, and my heart no longer broke.

And so I decided that one way to break the trance was to get out of the house, back out into the neighborhood, to prayer-walk my block and ask God for His leading and His heart. On my first time doing that, I heard the Lord speak one word to me – Relationship. And as I thought about that, I realized that I had not been building relationships with my neighbors. I was too tired, too busy, too scared, too numbed by the urban trance. Just after He spoke that to me, a woman and a man were walking down the street, and so I asked them if I could pray for them. She was in need of a more stable housing situation and he needed work, and so we held hands in the middle of street and prayed. When I finished, she said, “Believe it or not, I feel a little better.” I told her that I definitely did believe it – when we connect with God, things change and we sense the light of His presence.

I haven’t been the same since then, because my heart has been reconnected to my neighborhood. The faces I see aren’t just faces – they are people, precious to God whether they know it or now. And I've also been feeling sad. In many ways the urban trance is easier because it doesn’t hurt. It’s easier because I don’t have to get in touch with my helplessness.

But seeing a prostitute on my block that I have known for years and feeling my heart break for her, rather than ignoring her, makes me aware of my need for Jesus. Stopping my car in the night, getting out and telling her that Christ loves her and has so much life available to her, and then watching her receive that with cool indifference makes me feel helpless. "Jesus loves you" is the most powerful concept in the world, but in the face of a hard heart it seems so weak.

But relationship leads us to pray, to love, to care, and to need. And in those places, we find Jesus, and in those places, He begins to live His life through us. Maybe the words seem simple and the acts of kindness seem pointless. But our job is not to produce results, but simply to be faithful and live with His heart beating in us. Relationship with neighbors and relationship with Jesus breaks the urban trance.

The Kingdom is advancing, one "fist pound" at a time

A few weeks ago, Will Dungee (a friend and a pastor at my church) and I went prayer walking in a part of Glenwood that had been hopping with drugs and recent violence (someone had been robbed and then shot and killed at a convenience store in that area). Our hope was to pray over the neighborhood and also to talk with folks there and ask them how we could pray for them and see where the Lord might take it from there. Eventually we happened upon “Rick”, who was hanging out with a couple of other guys and appeared to be concluding some sort of deal involving either bootleg CD’s, drugs, or both. I suggested we go talk to him, and Will agreed, and so I practically ran up to "Rick" (I didn’t know him at that point) while Will walked much more coolly behind me. We struck up a conversation, during which we learned that his mom was an evangelist, that he wouldn’t consider himself a Christian because of how he was living, that he had been shot at least once, and that he figured that each of us is supposed to be the best we can be at what we are doing – if you are a Christian, be the best one you can be; if you are a dealer, be the best one that you can be (seriously). We asked him how we might pray for him, and he said just to ask God to let him live another day (which honestly seemed pretty generic), and so we did that and went on our way. I wasn’t sure I would see him again, especially since my prayer walks in Soflo (South Florida Street) were not a regular part of my week.

About a week or two later I was walking my dog Joe around the block and was passing by a different convenience store that is notorious for shady folks hanging around outside. As I passed by a car parked on the street, I look in and who do I see but "Rick" ! So I stopped and we did the whole “fist pound” thing (if you’re not from the ‘hood like me, you might not be as hip as me on that {sarcasm}). The first time we met, "Rick" had guessed that I didn’t live in Glenwood, and so on this meeting, I asked him what he was doing in my part of the ‘hood (neither of us took me seriously as I said that). Then I told him that it looked like God did answer prayers. He looked confused for a moment, and I reminded him that we had prayed that God would let him see another day, and well, here he was. He smiled and said, “Yeah, that’s right,” and I could tell that something flickered inside, the part of him that was created to know God and connect to Him.

That was the extent of our conversation, and as I walked away, I couldn’t help but think that I had just taken part in a Kingdom moment. Will and I meeting "Rick" had transformed him in my eyes. I normally would have ignored him, not even noticed him on my walk with Joe, or just dismissed him as a punk dealer. But because I had a relationship with "Rick", I saw him that day, and so we talked again. I think it also transformed me in his eyes. He normally would have ignored me, once he saw I wasn’t interested in buying, not even noticing me on my walk, dismissing me as a rich white guy. But because he knew me on some level, he saw me, and so we talked again.

The kingdom is advancing, one "fist pound" at a time.

Let's talk Christmas music!

So I have held off as long as I could and have inaugurated my Christmas music listening tonight with Andrew Peterson's album Behold the Lamb of God. So to celebrate, I thought I might list my top five Christmas albums (#1 being most favorite, but #2's a favorite, too, just not as much favorite), and then invite my legions of loyal readers to share your lists or comment on mine. I'm always looking for new music, so show me the way!

5) Harry Connick, Jr When My Heart Finds Christmas - This album takes me back to some good ol' days when I was at Carolina, and I just continue to enjoy it year after year.

4) Martha's Trouble Christmas Lights - I love how mellow and soothing Jen Slocumb's voice is. I actually listen to their rendition of O Come All Ye Faithful year-round on my "Relax" playlist in iTunes.

3) Ed Cash, Bebo Norman, Allen Levi Joy! - These three guys are really talented musicians and singers, and they really do have joy on this album as they perform many classic Christmas hymns. Plus, their original songs are super, and it's just a cool blend of three unique voices.

2) Elf: Original Motion Picture Sound Track - Elf is definitely my favorite Christmas movie, and this soundtrack has some awesome version of Christmas classics, including Brian Setzer's "Nutcracker Suite", and Leon Redbone and Zooey Deschanel singing "Baby It's Cold Outside."

1) Andrew Peterson Behold the Lamb of God - This is an amazing original CD which tells the story of Christmas beginning in Exodus and moving through the Gospels. The songs stand alone, but are meant to be listened to as a whole body of work. All of the songs are originals, and in true Andrew Peterson form, the lyrics are profound. One of the highlights is "Matthew's Begats" which is simply the geneology of Jesus sung to an upbeat tune. If you have the chance to see this concert in person, I would take it.