Who was that guy who wrote so much about margin last fall? Where has he gone? I feel so marginless right now, and I miss the pleasant pace of life that we had in October, November, and December. I feel like my work and family responsibilities are dragging me and dictating my days, and I am going non-stop from 7 am until 8 or 9 pm. Maybe that is “normal” for most people, but it’s not the kind of normal that I want to get used to. I want rhythm and space, moments to think and to breathe, and the only rhythm I am playing to at this point is the rhythm of the immediate, the right now.
I think that this marginless way of life is part of why I was short and impatient with “Bob” (see previous post). Having run all day, filled up to the very limits, I had no reserve left, and so Bob’s phone call during date night made me just overflow. I had only frustration to give, nothing left in the tank.
Margin never increases on its own; it will always be encroached upon by need and busyness, and need and busyness will always feel good and important and even noble. But they can easily be idols, things to be worshiped instead of God, ways to feel significant apart from the love of Christ. Margin, saying no, reminds us that we are not our own, that we have no life in ourselves apart from Jesus.