Weary

I can’t express how much I enjoyed the 2010 GUPY interns. They loved me, my family, and our neighborhood in really wonderful ways, and became a part of our lives and a part of our home. Having them leave at the end of July was like losing 9 partners in ministry, and Diane and I are still a little sad that they are gone.

At the same time, our summer has taken a toll on us. Regular rhythms of Sabbath and prayer, of exercise and rest, were replaced by the opportunity for constant fellowship and ministry. I have been out of my own bed for 25 of the past 63 nights. I think that spiritual warfare increases during GUPY, while sadly my prayer life and times with the Lord, just me and Him, decreased.

And so I hit the middle of August depleted in every way. I’ve lost about 10 pounds that I don’t have to give (thanks to Costa Rica, a erratic schedule, and strep throat), and I’ve lost some of my regular spiritual disciplines. I’ve not been to my favorite coffee shop in weeks and weeks . I have not been in my church office in three weeks, and waiting on me is a transition to a new position, heading up small group and discipleship at our church. Diane also went to Costa Rica, and since we have been home, has been single-handing it around the house thanks to my having IV team meeting and then my being sick.

It’s hard in the midst of weariness to remain hopeful. In fact, it’s at this precise time that the Enemy attacks, showing me all that “isn’t” and belittling all that “is.” Yet I need to remember that I didn’t get weary overnight, and neither will I recover by tomorrow morning. It takes time to reestablish good rhythms of work and rest, and it takes time to rebuild my soul and body. But the really good news is that my standing with God has not budged a bit through all of this. No matter my feelings of doubt and fear, no matter my lack of intentional times in the Bible, I have remained His Son. I can not be more “in Christ” than “in Christ.” And that is the start of refreshing my soul.