Friday, March 04, 2011

Where’s the joy?

I have felt burnt out over the past few months, overwhelmed by work, by home, by Glenwood, by things to do and things undone. I had also discovered too many “elder brother” thoughts lurking in my heart, jealous of others, feeling trapped by commitment and far from the pleasure of the Father’s heart. There has been little joy in the margins for me lately.

And I began to wonder if living in Glenwood had finally gotten the best of me, if leading GUPY and working for Grace was proving too much. Maybe the answer was moving out of Glenwood, living less missionally; it’s not the first time I have had that thought in the past 8 months.

But I am beginning to believe that the problem that I thought was the problem is not really my problem. Glenwood and GUPY have been taking the brunt of my anger, scapegoats for burnout, but I think the issue is deeper than geography. I think that I have developed a fairly marginless life, and therefore, the stresses of my neighborhood and loving the urban poor quickly zap the life from me.

I’m piecing the puzzle together, not only why I’ve ended up in this place but also a possible answer as to the way out.

Over the next few posts, I’d like to invite you on a journey through Psalms 49-51 and the life of David, looking for the answer to my weary heart and a possible key to fresh life and ministry. Maybe it will refresh you as well.

No comments: